


How Do You Know?

by oncethrown



Series: Spaces Between [2]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Coda, Communication, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-10
Updated: 2017-02-10
Packaged: 2018-09-23 06:46:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9644984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oncethrown/pseuds/oncethrown
Summary: A sort of 2x6 coda slash 2x7 spec fic.Innocence is not the absence of desire. Experience is not the absence of fear.Alec and Magnus meet in the middle.





	

Jace walks into a moment that could have been a _moment_ and Alec isn’t sure if he’s relieved, or pissed.

 

He is sure that Magnus isn’t kissing him back anymore. Sure that he’s not breathing in that scent that’s been just at the edge of his awareness all night. Some soft sharp smell on Magnus’s skin. He can imagine Magnus picking out the bottle. Maybe plucking it from the vanity Alec has imagined he has in his bedroom. Maybe selecting it from a dozen others on some special rack in the bathroom. Maybe magically summoning it from who knows where. 

 

Magnus moves his hand from Alec’s waist. Alec pulls his own hand from Magnus’s shoulder. 

 

There’s still a twinge of horror and embarrassment at being caught like this. With a man. Even though everyone knows. And Jace knows. 

 

But they haven’t talked about it yet. He hasn’t talked to anyone about it yet. 

 

With a huff, Magnus waves Jace down a hallway in the loft that Alec has been down before. Toward the spare bedrooms. He pauses at the mouth of the hallway and turns back to Alec, raising a finger. Alec nods. Yeah, he’ll still be here in a minute. 

 

He sucks in a deep breath. 

 

He wasn’t sure what he thought would happen tonight, but it’s not happening now. 

 

***

 

After going talking to Jace about the shit that Aldertree had pulled, Alec had shared another quick kiss with Magnus at the door. Magnus’s hand around Alec’s elbow, the tips of Alec’s fingers just barely touching Magnus’s back. Pulling away with a smile. 

 

Awkwardly deciding that he should go home. Wondering if, in other circumstances, Magnus might have asked him to stay. 

 

Alec lies in his bed and goes through the night like he’s debriefing himself. Magnus had needed to send him a fire message to get his attention. Not good. Something to work on. 

 

Playing pool had been fun. Knowing that he and Magnus could go out and do something normal and have fun was good. He runs over the game again, smiling as he remembers the look on Magnus’s face as he’d needled at him and made that ridiculous jump shot. That had been good. 

 

He was going to have to find something he could drink. That stinging bitter herb thing Magnus kept getting was disgusting. The beer had been… fine. Wine? No one at the bar had been drinking wine. He’d had champagne at a wedding once. He’d liked that, but it had gone straight to his head and after his second glass he’d gone straight to his room to lie down because he’d hadn’t liked the feeling it had given him— a happy light feeling that made him feel see through. 

 

He didn’t mind having that feeling around Magnus though. 

 

Then… exes. He plays that over and over again. 

 

_I always knew that I couldn’t have what I wanted, until you came along._

 

He plays the sentence in his head until it makes him cringe, and moves on. 

 

He’d meant what he said to Magnus about his… significantly larger number than expected not mattering. He believed that Magnus had been sincere when he said that Alec’s much smaller than anticipated number didn’t matter. 

 

Still. 

 

Twenty three years old, with his entire sexual experience up to that point having been kissing Magnus at his wedding. If Magnus hadn’t figured it out when Alec had been trying to talk around the fact that the was a blank fucking slate when it came to exes, Magnus was surely figuring it out now. 

 

Oh, god. What if he was talking to Jace about it?

 

No. He wouldn’t do that. 

 

Zero vs. Seventeen Thousand. 

 

It’s a big gap. It’s two extremes. 

 

In his dark room, Alec covers his face with his hands.

 

_I didn’t want to feel like there was something wrong with me._

 

It’s true. It’s been his justification for a few dozen decisions that he could have made to make tonight easier. Not flirting with that barista who had written his number on his cup last year. Deciding, on more than one occasion, that sneaking out to a gay club— just to see, maybe just to try— was asking for trouble. 

 

Asking Lydia to marry him. 

 

Magnus had gotten weirded out. Alec had seen it. But Alec had gotten weirded out too. And they’d taken a step. They’d told the truth and decided not to let it be a big deal. That was a step. That was something you did in a relationship. 

 

There were other things you did in a relationship. 

 

Alec moved his hands from his face down to his chest. He didn’t need to lay here and relive every moment like this. Tonight hadn’t been a training exercise. It had been a date. They’d had a discussion. They’d come to an understanding. If he wasn’t laying here evaluating Magnus, Magnus wouldn’t be doing the same to him. 

 

On his nightstand, his phone vibrates. Alec grabs it. 

 

_Jace is settled in. He didn’t want to talk about it. I’m sure you’ll hear more from him in the morning._

 

Alec bites his lip and texts back. _Thanks for letting me know._

 

He waits, tells himself not to text without a reply and then does anyone. _Tonight was nice. I’m glad you convinced me to go out._

 

The reply dots come up immediately. _I had a very nice time. I’m sure I could teach you that jump shot._

 

 _Hah_ Alec writes back. 

 

He wants to address it. Their conversation about exes feels so unfinished. 

 

_Do you know what a mocktail is?_

 

_No._

 

_A non alcoholic cocktail. Might be more your speed._

 

For a moment, Alec is inclined to read to much into that. But he stops himself. 

 

 _Maybe I could make you one later this week._ Magnus adds.

 

Relief floods through Alec so fast it makes him feel lightheaded. _I’d like that._ Then after a moment. _I’m sorry I freaked out earlier. I appreciate you telling me the truth._

 

_I freaked out too, and I’m sorry for that. I think you’re the only person to say something like that to me in over three hundred years. And things are so different now. I meant that I don’t care._

 

 _I meant it too._ Alec said. His thumb hovered over the keyboard for a moment, until he decided he was sick of over thinking every little thing. _Are you free for dinner tomorrow?_

 

_There’s a cambodian place I have been dying to go back to. Amazing Beef Lok Lak._

 

 _I love Beef Lok Lak._ Alec grinned. Yes. Things in common. They’d find more of them. 

 

 _It’s a second date._ After a moment, Magnus adds _You should get some rest._

 

_Yeah. You too._

 

_Until tomorrow, Alexander. Sweet dreams._

 

Alec draws a complete blank on how to reply to that, and finally settles on _Good Night_ and a smiley face that he regrets too late to delete it. 

 

He sets his phone back on his nightstand with a sigh. 

 

Second date. 

 

***

 

“Where did you run off to last night?” Izzy asks him with a yawn as soon as they cross paths in the Institute. 

Alec shrugs and sips the tea he had just made himself. Then he actually looks up at Izzy. 

 

There’s something behind her eyes. Something… brittle. Less warm than normal. Things have been bad lately. He hasn’t talked to Izzy at all about Jace being gone, or that fact that he’d nearly killed himself getting Jace back. 

 

“I was with Magnus,” he says quietly. 

 

Izzy lights up immediately and for some reason Alec is already reaching out with one hand, widening his eyes. Imploring her to be quiet. Izzy dims a little and Alec remembers how sad she had looked when she told him that he never talked to her about his personal life. 

 

So he does. He tells her about the fire message and the bar, and the beer and the pool and then… the exes. Admitting the truth. Magnus’s number being way higher than he expected, though he doesn’t quote her a figure. The agonizing walk home. Telling Magnus he didn’t care. 

 

Jace showing up. 

 

That leads into a longer discussion about what the hell Jace was thinking, and Alec nearly thinks he’s off the hook until Isabelle drags the conversation back to the topic of the date. “So… if Jace hadn’t showed up, what would have happened?”

 

Alec shrugs. “I don’t… I don’t know.”

 

“More than a kiss?” Isabelle prods. 

 

“I…” Alec tries again, then feels his mouth go dry. He knows that Isabelle was fourteen her first time. Jace was sixteen. “How… How do you know when it’s the right time?”

 

Isabelle’s smile and eyes go wider than Alec feels is necessary. “Oh my god, are you talking about having sex?”

 

“Jesus, Izzy,” Alec shudders and glances around them. People are looking, but anyone who really wanted to hear them would have had to have activate a rune. Maybe they have. 

 

But any one who has isn’t going to hear anything they haven’t already been thinking. 

 

“You’re twenty three. You’ve been in the right time zone for years,” Izzy says with a laugh. 

 

Alec huffs and looks down into his tea. 

 

“Hey, come on. That’s not how I meant it. I just mean… if that’s what you want, there’s no reason you shouldn’t go after it.”

 

“Magnus… made a comment about me being… so innocent.”

 

Isabelle grinned and shrugged. “Prove him wrong.”

 

***

 

Magnus casts a portal and extends his hand. Alec takes it and holds tight as they step into the whirring, spinning semi darkness and land somewhere… unexpected. 

 

The first thing Alec notices is the darkness. The sun had been still been and hour or so from setting a moment ago, and now the room they are standing in is nearly pitch black, except for the ambient city light peeking in around heavy curtains. 

 

The curtains are smaller than Magnus’s. Spaced out differently. 

 

“Where are we?” Alec asked. 

 

He hears Magnus’s fingers snap. The curtains draw up. Through one window, out in the distance, Alec can see the Eiffel tower. 

 

Soft light flickers on along the walls, softly shooing the dark away.

 

Magnus’s light, sparkling eyeshadow. His soft smile. Even his shirt, simpler than usual, without such a high collar.  

 

Everything about him tonight is softer. Inviting. 

 

“My Paris apartment,” Magnus replies warmly. “Where Jace does not sleep.”

 

He moves closer, but doesn’t touch Alec. He’s only touched Alec once when Alec didn’t initiate. 

 

Alec licks his lips. He can hear Izzy’s voice in his head. _Prove him wrong._

 

He banishes the voice as fast as he can. He doesn’t want to think about Izzy at a moment like this. 

 

But the sentiment. He can keep the sentiment. 

 

He sets his hands over Magnus’s shoulders. Magnus smiles and Alec feels Magnus’s hands settle at his sides, just above his waist. 

 

Alec leans down and kisses him and Magnus isn’t nearly as hesitant kissing back. 

 

This is harder than playing pool, but easier than talking. Alec feels like he might be good at this. When Magnus opens his mouth, Alec immediately fits their mouths and bodies more tightly together. 

 

Magnus makes _a sound_. 

 

Alec is sure he’s good at this now. 

 

He pushes closer, so close that Magnus takes a step back. 

 

Alec’s hand slides down Magnus’s chest and before he knows it, he’s got one of the buttons of Magnus’s simple Henley undone. Then two. 

 

Magnus gasps into Alec’s mouth, and suddenly everything Alec has ever learned about suppressing his desires and emotions is gone. 

 

He _wants._

 

He’s never felt like this before. Overwhelmed but still singularly focused. 

 

Three buttons down. 

 

Magnus pulls out of the kiss, and sets his hands to Alec’s chest.  By the Angel, he is beautiful. 

 

“I was,” he sucks in air, “I was thinking we could go out for a late dessert. Maybe a croissant and a hot chocolate. There’s a place around the corner.” 

 

“After,” Alec replies. 

 

Magnus clears his throat and takes a step away. 

 

A sound like an alarm sounds in Alec’s head. He screwed something up. He thought things were going well and he did something wrong. 

 

Magnus gives him a careful smile. 

 

“I know I don’t have to do this,” Alec says, before Magnus can say anything. “You don’t have to treat me like I don’t know what I want. Like I’m some… fragile, vulnerable vir— thing.”

 

Fingers wrap gently around Alec’s wrist. “You’re not the only one who feels vulnerable.” He gives Alec’s wrist a squeeze that’s probably supposed to be reassuring. “Let’s talk about this. Over hot chocolate, and a croissant.”

 

**

 

Alec waits for Magnus to say something as they lie there, under Magnus insanely soft sheets. They stick to Alec where there’s still sweat across his body.

 

Not all of it his. 

 

He wonders if there’s something he’s supposed to do. Some… correct polite tradition that he doesn’t know about. 

 

He wonders if he should put his boxers back on. 

 

“You okay?” Magnus asks. 

 

“Yeah,” Alec answers immediately. “Umm… very, very okay. And you? You’re…”

 

Magnus groans, differently than before, lifts himself up and turns onto his side, resting his head on one hand and tracing his fingers across Alec’s with the other.  “Yeah. I’m fine.”

 

“Good,” Alec says, with a relieved grin. 

 

It’s good to feel light again after a very heavy conversation about Camille. Magnus hadn’t wanted to tell him everything, and that was okay. They were still getting to know each other. Magnus hadn’t said outright that they would need to know each other a lot better than they did now before Magnus was ready to give Alec all of the details of why he’d closed himself off for a century, but Alec had still gotten the message. 

 

That was okay. There were plenty of things he hadn’t told Magnus about yet. 

 

The main take away from the conversation was that it was okay for them to take some more time to open up to each other. They didn’t have to do everything at once. 

 

Including sex. 

 

They could work up to sex. 

 

This first step had been excellent. 

 

Alec sets his hand over Magnus’s, and grins when Magnus twines their fingers. 

 

“Do you… want me to portal you back to the Institute?” Magnus asks. 

 

Alec shakes his head. “No.”

 

Magnus bites his lower lip for just a moment, before looking into Alec’s eyes. His makeup had gotten smudged. Somehow that makes him look even more gorgeous. “Should we sleep here, or in New York?”

 

“As… as long as you’re there, it doesn’t matter.”

 

Magnus smiles back, and Alec knows it was the right thing to say. 

 


End file.
